Parents need to be united in their decision to homeschool their children. Homeschooling affects every aspect of a family’s life: the daily schedule, how the home is furnished and arranged, how money and free time are spent, and decisions regarding sacrifices that inevitably must be made.
About halfway into our homeschooling journey, I was working through Jackie Wellwood’s One Hundred and One More Devotions for Homeschool Moms. In devotion #32 she poses the question, “What have I given up to homeschool?” At the moment, the following came to mind: attending women’s Bible studies; reading books solely for myself; social time with friends. I did not totally give these up, but they were greatly reduced due to lack of time and/or fatigue at the end of the day. I also had to put on hold some of my goals, such as finishing college and serving the community in ways not necessarily connected to homeschooling.
When I was a new homeschooler, full of excitement for this calling, if someone sat me down and tried to explain the costs, I’m not sure how much I would have listened. To initially launch and gain momentum and conviction in the early years, I needed an attitude of embracing my calling with enthusiasm. However, acknowledging these sacrifices later helped me, the primary homeschooling parent, be more content in my work. When my husband Brian understood my needs and sacrifices, he found ways to support our family’s homeschooling endeavor. Because he traveled for work, Brian was especially sensitive to my need for breaks. After he had been gone for multiple days, it was not unusual for me to get away once he arrived home. I would take a walk or a bicycle ride or go to the public library. A brief respite gave me such a boost that I could return home to my family refreshed. Unity between the parents fosters peace in the family and success in their homeschool.
As the financial provider for our family, like many fathers much of Brian’s time was spent working. We regularly prayed for his safety on the road while he traveled for work. Regardless of time required away from home, he provided emotional support for all of us. Serving as a sounding board, he helped me get through frustrations and arrive at solutions to problems. He was the ‘Principal’ of our homeschool. Every spring we had our annual meeting where we discussed the plan and curricula for the next school year. Brian saw himself as the one supporting the plan, removing obstacles, and smoothing out problems.
When the children were young, he supported the plan by creating a safe and fun outdoor play space out of our plain backyard. He installed a second-hand swing set; we recruited the grandparents to help with the purchase of a trampoline as a Christmas gift; with the kids’ help, Brian built a playhouse. So that we could grow vegetables, he prepared the garden’s soil and built a bean-pole teepee. In the garage’s workbench area, he provided access to tools and taught the boys how to use them safely. He supplied a box of scrap wood that our younger son especially enjoyed making things out of.
As the children entered the middle years, Brian supported our daughter’s involvement in 4-H. He even taught the Veterinary Science project and served as a judge at a communication competition. When the boys expressed a desire to be Boy Scouts, Brian started a troop. They learned leadership as well as camping skills. As older teens, when it was time to learn how to drive, Brian did all the practice driving with our kids. He is calm, cool, and collected. I knew that the potential for me losing my cool was too great. So, he handled that as well, making sure they learned how to drive a stick-shift. When they started looking into colleges, Brian took them on campus visits. I joined in for most, but Brian made sure they all happened. In his roles as provider, protector, and supporter of our homeschool, Brian expressed in practical ways his love for our children and me. Functioning as a team was essential. Homeschooling would not have worked without his unwavering commitment.
I leave you with a photo of California poppies. They are not native to Arizona, but if they receive some moisture, they grow well here in the desert.